It's Getting Hot in Here...

So take off all your clothes? (Warning, don't read this if you easily get grossed out by sweat).

I had my first experience with Bikram (also known as "hot") yoga last weekend. I had heard really great things about Bikram (it has a cult following almost like Crossfit), so when I saw a groupon for unlimited classes for a month, I jumped on it.  The caveat I had heard over and over again was that almost everyone has a really hard time the first day- but that it gets better from there.  I practice regular-temperature yoga somewhat often, but my only (short-lived) experience with Bikram was in high school, and I left after only half an hour.  So I braced myself for the experience.

I got to the studio 20 minutes early, as they suggested. I had seen that these studios were extremely expensive, but I didn't know why until I got there. They have a really nice pre-and post-workout lounge, with lots of water and cubbyholes for your mats, and showers/locker room. As I walked in, I saw all the women yogis in their hot yoga gear (which was basically a bra and spandex). I realized that my cropped running tights, running bra and loose fitting yoga tank top might be a little much. But I was also feeling like covering up my extra/post season flab, so I wasn't about to strip down in front of these people (they looked like toned, slender Yogi Goddesses, so how could a normal human match up?).

I also realized when I got into the studio that though I had brought my own yoga mat and plenty of water, I did not bring a towel to put on top of the mat- which turned out to be a pretty costly mistake.  Everyone was pretty quiet coming in, and either lay on their backs or sat Japanese style until the instructor came in. I'm telling you, these people take Bikram seriously.

If you have never heard of or done Bikram, let me enlighten you (pun intended). It is a set of 26 poses and two breathing exercises that are done in the same sequence and same number of sets every single time. Yes, you heard me. It's the SAME every time, which is very different from most yoga classes I have been to. Vinyasa is usually pretty repetitive in that you might do a bazillion sun salutations, but normally it is still in different variations depending on the instructor.

So anyway, I settled into my spot, and lay down, thinking, well it really doesn't seem that hot in here, actually! Maybe it won't be so bad. FALSE. The vents above us began to pump more and more hot air into the room.  It was getting pretty steamy pretty quickly.

Finally we started the class. The first pose wasn't bad, it was basically deep breathing.  The second pose (Half moon) wasn't bad either- it was kind of like a side stretch.  I caught myself hoping that maybe it would be easier than I thought- and I felt fine for the first half hour or so. I was starting to sweat "bullets," but it was not more than I am used to.  By the time we got to standing bow pose and balancing stick, though, I started to feel pretty lightheaded, and my heart started pounding. It is staggering to me that you can feel that out of breath from doing yoga- especially since I am not exactly starting from square one in terms of fitness.  Forget sweating bullets, I was starting to sweat RIVERS and LAKES (hey, I did warn you at the beginning), and I didn't have a towel to absorb it.  The pools forming on my mat made doing standing poses even more difficult.

At some point, it became a battle of wills- between my brain and my body.  At a couple of points I didn't think I was going to make it for the whole class, because I felt so nauseated and faint. At those moments, I stopped for a couple of seconds and sat in child's pose or took a sip of water, so that I would pace myself.  I am the kind of person who would keep doing something until it was dangerous, and the only thing that would be more embarrassing than leaving in the middle of class (damn it, why didn't I sit closer to the door??) would be to faint right in the middle of class.  Just like most times when I am doing a difficult endurance workout, I knew that most times, discomfort or pain will pass.

Still, I was having a pretty hard time with keeping my will to do this, but luckily for me the instructor said the right thing at the right time. We did triangle pose right after I had taken a slightly longer break, and she said "we are almost over the hard part," which was encouraging; I didn't realize that the standing poses were so much harder than the seated ones.  She also reminded us to breathe deeply a few times, which I realized I wasn't doing.  In fact, there were times when I stopped breathing altogether in the difficulty of holding a pose, and once I started to concentrate on making my breathing even, I felt much better. Finally we got to tree pose, and then we lay down in Savasana (dead pose) for a break before starting the seated poses.  I finally caved and took off my outer layer, using it as a makeshift towel to wipe down the mat a bit (need I say it again? If you go to Bikram, TAKE A TOWEL!).

Somewhere around this time, the instructor said, "Some of you might feel very faint, or nauseated, or both. Everyone feels that sometimes during practice. Just take it in, and let it go. When you find discomfort, acknowledge it, accept it, and move forward."

That phrase, "acknowledge it, accept it, and move forward" resonated with me on several levels. Yes, one one level it applies to discomfort or pain when doing yoga, or running, or Ironman triathlons.  But it goes even further. As some of you know, I have had to deal with (what feels like) myriad physical ailments and issues- including hypothyroidism and accordingly poor metabolism, gluten intolerance or celiac disease (I am still being tested), allergies galore, etc.  During class, I realized that I have been holding onto so much anger about these problems (why do I have to deal with this crap? Why me? Why do I have to have so many problems??), which is causing me to fester on them instead of moving forward.  I realized that I need to acknowledge that I have more issues than a lot of people have to deal with, accept them, and move forward, or I can never heal mentally and physically.  I need to put things in perspective- I am still able to work out and try to improve my health.

I felt like Bikram was more than a physical cleansing- I felt like I got rid of a lot of toxins I had accumulated from not eating well last week- but it was also a mental cleansing.  It's going to take some time, but I have to get rid of all the mental junk.  I'm going back to Bikram again tomorrow.